Prince's "Darling Nikki" is easily one of the top ten songs ever written about a girl masturbating in a hotel lobby.
Aldi Rizal, the chain-smoking Indonesian boy, has stopped smoking. Hey, if Aldi can do it, maybe you can too, Mr. President.
James J. Lee thought the Discovery Channel could change the world. Clearly, he mistook the network for The Young Turks.
I can't believe it's already Zep-tember - it seems like just yesterday was the start of Temple of the Dog-ust!
If, god forbid, Jersey Shore's Mike Sorrentino is ever badly injured, I hope someone uses the headline, "Situation Critical."
This school year I have a son who is entering kindergarten. And like
most parents, dropping him off that first day at the classroom was
exciting, but I was also apprehensive and full of questions. "Will he
get along with his classmates?" "How will he handle the increased
structure?" "Will the paste taste as good as I remember?"
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It's pretty clear that, in most ways, kids today have it better than previous generations, what with advances like the Internet, cell phones, DVD players in the car, and the regular discovery of entirely new body parts to pierce.
As anyone knows who watches the news, lives in a border state or has joined my "Send Celine Dion Back to Canada" campaign, immigration is one of the biggest hot button issues in the country right now.
I don't know who first came up with the phrase "There's no such thing as bad publicity," but I'm pretty sure it wasn't Mel Gibson. As you're no doubt aware, the A-list actor, director and producer recently added "recording sensation" to his IMDB profile, thanks to the public release of tapes featuring the star unloading on his former girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, with a series of venomous, profanity-laced rants.
Last month, the nation was riveted by 16-year-old Abby Sunderland's attempt to become the youngest person in history to sail around the world solo, without the benefit of a motor, other crew members or parents with enough sense to stop her.